Happy belated new year. How have you spent your new year holidays? Most people around me spent it with their families, and having none that I can easily return to and with no invitations, I spent the last week of last year drowning in self-pity until I pulled up enough couarge to ask a friend to let me join her family for new year celebrations.

My sister and I apply the concept of the idiom “don’t put all your eggs in one basket” to relationships. While my sister has unlimited supplies of L-sized eggs which she distributes freely to several baskets, I have a limited number of M-sized ones which I distribute only to a select few. Either way, the fall is hard when the baskets give way. My sister defines her “close friends” as those she would invite to a small wedding, while I decide on my “closest friend” as the Person I would save over another if two of them were drowning. The first person I would save – even if I myself were to drown in the process – has been my sister, and will remain so. It was during another period of self-pity this year when I received a personalised calendar from my sister which further strengthened my belief that I would be fine even if all else were to desert me, as long as I have her on my side. Among the pages dedicated to her friends was a drawing of two girls (see image) for the month of March, the month of our birthdays. So what, you may wonder, but what touched me was our bond – our scars – that she hid in the picture. The different directions we are facing in the picture may possibly refer to the different paths we have taken and will take. I will most likely remain here in the East, while she might go West to further her studies.

(Other pages in the calendar, and other artworks, can be found here.)

“Close friends” are hard to come by, and even if they do they will never be a perfect replacement even if they may be better in other aspects. A permanent ally, however, requires patience and effort. Trying to squeeze the relationship built up over the last 23 years into a new container with smaller capacity will likely cause it to crack. “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket”, and if the basket is going to fall apart, it is always good to have an empty one waiting below. The importance of continuity applies to work too; a new basket came just in time when abovementioned friend gave way. My handles are fraying, and the only thing holding them together is the promise of a permanent ally. If it fails, well, there is no choice but to start anew to find a new basket for myself and hope that there is one below to catch the eggs I hold.

Whether my sister succeeds in her scholarship application and wherever she goes, I hope that she will find an ally that would stick by her on my behalf, because I can no longer be there physically for her.